Often when a journalist, an annoyed stakeholder, or a frustrated board member asks you a question… it’s not just the information they’re after. They want to know you “get it”. You understand why they’re asking, why they’re frustrated, and why it matters.
It’s very tempting to jump straight in and answer the question. But sometimes that can make you look defensive. At best, you come across like the guy at the party who’s doing all the talking, and somehow still missing the point.
My tip, answer the emotion, first. Then follow up with the information.
Emotion first, information second.
This technique is a big part of my training workshops. The parenting experts (I’m looking at you Maggie Dent) say it all the time.
When your kids say something like, “That’s not fair, you never let me do anything!” Apparently, I’m not supposed to say “Do you have any idea how lucky you are and how much you have actually done in the past week”.
No, I’m meant to acknowledge how he feels, first.
I have to say, I’m not very good at it with my kids. But it’s so much easier to do with grown ups.
When the question is: “Why did the cost blow out so much?”
There are two ways you can go.
You could say:
“We sent an update in March outlining the revised figures and the reasons for the increase…”
Or you could say:
“I understand why that’s frustrating, none of us wanted to see the costs increase like this, let me walk you through what’s happened…”
When a journalist asks: “How did this happen on your watch?”
You could say:
“We have processes in place and we followed them…”
Or you could say:
“I understand this is a really upsetting time and there’s a lot of people wanting more detail about what happened this morning. I’m frustrated too, and I’m trying work out how this happened. Let me go through what we know and what I can actually talk about”.
During a media or presentation workshop, we can spend hours finessing messages and building your confidence in a bunch of ways. But when it comes to the crunch, you can be forgiven for getting a number slightly wrong, or forgetting that perfectly crafted sentence. You know what you can’t be forgiven for? Sounding like you don’t care.
Answer the emotion first. It buys you a little window, so people are ready to hear your answer.
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